Archive for the commentary Category

2012s Horror rebirth..Its about damn time.

Posted in commentary on November 20, 2012 by wtfhwrestling

As an avid horror fan I’ve been depressed about it for the last few years left with only crummy remakes(The Crazies was a cool exception) and stylistic garbage for children(Paranormal,Twilight etc..).  I think The Walking Dead really breathed new life into the genre to the mainstream public as well as American Horror Story being too great to hate(also for free).  The Possession was long awaited for me due to Sam Raimi’s name being attached but didn’t live upto any hype I’d built up for it,Sinister on the other hand surprised me and won me over with small nuances such as the soudntrack really bringing me into the atmosphere they created.  With my faith in the Raimi brand slighted a little I wasn’t expecting too much from the Evil Dead remake THEN I saw the railer.  If you haven’t seen it already check it out.

Another chainsaw favorite of mine is making a reboot to the screw with TEXAS CHAINSAW 3-D coming out in the first week of January.  With a return from Bill Moseley and all the original family members making appearances I don’t see how this could be anywhere near the crappyness of TCM:the beginning or the sequel with Renee Zelweger in it lol.  The casting of Neyo doesn’t scream casting genius either but in a slasher movie as long as there’s blood and some creative violence I’ll be happy.

On the topic of creative violence any gore fan circa 2012 has to be excited about the sequel coming out on the 30th as well THE COLLECTION.  Collecting where The Collector finished the writers of the Saw sequels continued on with their masked character wreaking more havoc than in the first movie(originally written as a SAW prequel)and upping the bar for the played out torture gore genre.

The Carrie and Chucky remakes out next year also intrigue the horror fan in me but not as much as the rebirths of two of my favorite chainsaw classics.  Here’s hoping these titles can continue to breath new life into the culture and not just in the way of opening doors to new big budget blockbusters(WWZ) and generic found footage flicks.


Heavyweight WRESTLING weekend

Posted in commentary on May 25, 2012 by wtfhwrestling

This weekend UFC is promoting an all heavyweight pay per view event,featuring a title defense from champion Junior Dos Santos and Frank Mir.  JDS has been on a roll for his last few fights and Mir has always been a machine on the ground.  JDS put away wrestling standout and former champ Cain Velasquez in mere seconds to win the title.   So one has to wonder if he’ll allow the fight to go to the ground or if he gets caught with one of Mirs big head kicks he’s been killing people with lately.

Its no secret wrestling is the best background to any aspiring mixed martial artist and this weekend might prove just that some more.  Outside of the UFC as well Cole Konrad is defending his Bellator championship Friday night.  Conrad is thought of to a lot of MMA fans as being Brock Lesnars training partner and college wrestling alum.   Last week as well HW wrestler Daniel Cormier used his constant pressure to score a decision over other wrestling notable Josh Barnett.

The previously mentioned Cain Velsquez will probably be looking to show off his wrestling pedigree Saturday in his fight with striker and jj practioner BIG FOOT SILVA another fight on UFC 146 tomorrow.

With all of the heavyweight wrestling  success in MMA one has to wonder if its only a matter of time before the big boys start switching to the WWE route.  KING MO LAWAL recently inked a contract that puts him in Bellator as well as TNA IMPACT and any WWE fan would notice the impact made by Brock Lesnar in his return.  The roundest fighter in the UFC teased a possible WWE run as well to compete with Brock.  With Brock breaking the stigma against “pro” wrestling how prevalent will crossing over sports be for MMA athletes in the future?

There has been a few cases of MMA organizations trying to cross over heavyweights from the WWE with terrible results(Bart Gunn,Sean O’Haire etc.)but how will the outlook change once nationally credited wrestlers start winding down their MMA careers and turning pro?  Will the Roy Nelsons,Josh Barnetts  and Daniel Cormiers be the champions of the future with combat experience behind them or is this just another flash in the pan idea wrestling fans have become more than used to.  The WORLDS MOST DANGEROUS MAN Ken Shamrock broke down the cross over MMA star gimmick over ten years ago why not again?

To me as a wrestling fan I don’t find the crossing over very appealing in that I would rather see people do what they do best than what someone will pay them for.  The best fighter that came from a pro background to me will always be KAZUSHI SAKURABA.  He kept entertainment in each of his bouts going for unorthodox moves most martial artists would find too wacky to even worry about.  His risky style often put losses on his record but no one ever doubted his love for the sport or heart he showed every match.

In the end I guess my question is will the MMA world ever see another Sakuraba?  Someone equally entertaining as vicious with no fear in this point scoring world of fighters today while still honoring a pro wrestling past?  Who knows but if Brock Lesnar being regarded by some as a UFC legend is any indicator we could see a lot of talent crossing over as well as excelling at both sports.

Hellzapoppin review

Posted in commentary on April 15, 2012 by wtfhwrestling

Saturday night the Hamilton Place Studio saw the debut of the traveling sideshow that is HELLZAPOPPIN’.  I was planning on going to an overpriced legends show but one of my friends passed me some tickets he won for this event.  Who do I know that would want to watch people mutilate themselves he thought to himself…only one person he knew would appreciate it like no one else…my ten year old so we lucked out.  We watch the show Oddities and she’d been looking forward to seeing a REAL freak show one day.

Going into this show my only experiences with gross stunts had been on tv outside a few tricks by Sinn Bodhi,Random Acts or Voodoo Ray(who are all pretty nuts in their own right)which weren’t full shows.  Were they going to be able to shock me like the one that scarred my mom  in the 70s?  I sure hoped so.

The venue suited the show pretty well the last thing I attended there was a weigh in for a fight and this was a clean and sleek venue for both.

The show started out with some fire eating,dancing and manipulation that got the crowd excited early.  The first woman out was Maryann Magdalen,she almost stole the show I would say.  Without her the show seems like it would have been missing something.  All 4 performers present brought a unique experience to all their stunts I just felt the first woman really took the theatrics to another level.  She swallowed swords and other objects as well as walking machete ladders and other equally impressive acts of madness.

Next up Master of Ceremonies Bryce Graves ate some glass.  He did a few other over the top awesome moves such as the old powerdrill up the nose and pushed a kernel of corn from his nose to eye.  Classic stunts I expected to see but was shocked to finally see in front of my own eyes.  My daughter had a couple cringing moments during some of his and Zamoras stunts but not as much as the 40 year old man next to me.

The main event seemed to be whenever Zamora the Torture king came back onstage he built up his stunts with each being a little crazier than the last so by the end we knew he was saving for something.  He did a stunt with an audience member and before that I think the crowd kind of watched as if ya thats cool but after someone was onstage it got real for us and everyone got more into the show.  Zamora has been featured on Stan Lees superhero search,Guinness book,Nat.geo/wherever good feats of crazyness can pass for entertainment lol.  He also wrote a book( I would have bought if not so broke) about the Lollapalooza Jim Rose circus days he was promoting called CIRCUS OF SCARS.  He shocked my daughter the most,possibly by passing a metal spike through the bottom of his face or bicep.  His body control and control of the crowd was pretty intense anyone could tell he was no stranger to performing by now.

The 4th performer of the night was a local named Vanessa Ann Neil who ate some bugs, swallowed some swords and was a human dartboard.  The bug eating didn’t win me over but the other acts all impressed.

The mixture of the performances kept things fresh as well as the addition of Mr. Buggles their cute top hat dog mascot.  To explain the stunts or all of them or crowd reaction wouldn’t be doing the show any justice they did a bunch of crazy stunts I didn’t mention nor feel I need to.  They said they would be returning in the near future with the LIZARD MAN and another name I recognized at the time so when you see they’re coming to your town be sure not to miss the greatest show in HELL!!!  Unless you’re not a sickfuck like me who owns skulls and shit then MAYBE you might not like it but even the guy who had his eyes closed next to me half the show had a good time so open your mind and your wallets Hellzapoppin’s worth it.

Silva vs. Sonnen 2:Too little too late?

Posted in commentary, MMA on March 27, 2012 by wtfhwrestling

This past week Dana White had a press conference and announced amongst other things(UFCs return to MTL and Toronto being most exciting for me) a rematch for the middleweight title.   Chael Sonnen has taken every opportunity to stand on any available soapbox and pretty much demand this fight.  A fight he lost cleanly to submission.

In the past Anderson has been given flack for facing less than stellar opposition as well as playing with people to keep fights marketable.  I find this fight in the second category.  The only contenders Silva really has are Munoz, Henderson and possibly Belcher.  Sonnen did “earn” his title shot with his last w but it seemed more like a WWE style warm up match than an evenly sided number one contender match.  Silva however has made short work out of everyone he’s faced thats not Sonnen so is that enough reason for a rematch?  Or to shut Sonnen up and into retirement?  No way lots of never were fighters have excuses for why they haven’t been champions.  Sonnen was one in WEC maybe he needs to just keep that glory and forget about his one “tainted” title fight loss.   Chaels not alone in post Silva whinings either James Irvin and Chris Leben have both boasted on record a lot that they too will have their time to rematch the Brazilian champion.   Even though those rematches would be unproductive and a waste of Silva and the fans time.  Which makes me wonder is this a waste of our time too?  I like that they saved this fight for Brazil but otherwise are there even any fans out there who still think Chael stands a chance?  For the love of competition I’d much rather see him match with Munoz or even GSP if they can ever sign that fight.  With the years moving on for the ever aging Silva one has to wonder how long the UFC will keep feeding him walk over matches and not epic wars that will cement his legacy in Octagon history.

Wrestlemania 28:From Smith Harts perspective

Posted in commentary on March 19, 2012 by wtfhwrestling

As they say that hindsight is 20/20, I wanted to write my perspective of Wrestlemania 28 in advance of the actual event as I think that this event has been booked poorly, for the most part, since day one.   I don’t mean to write this to sound negative, but more as constructive criticism because as I have said many times, I am still waiting to see a Wrestlemania that exceeds its own hype.

The Rock vs. John Cena
This match truly is a dream match for practically anyone in the WWE universe, yet I feel that this feud has fallen quite flat. Rather than focusing this feud on personal animosity and hyping it on very real emotions, we have seen personal attacks from each man wrapped inside a series of jokes and musical sketches. I don’t recall humour being added to the Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant feud, and very little humour was ever presented in the build to Hulk Hogan vs. The Rock. Both of those matches have stood the test of time in terms of legacy, yet indications are saying that fans are not emotionally invested in this match.  In order for the fans to feel that emotional investment, they have to believe like whoever it is they are backing in this feud, is truly in danger of losing.  Now, 2 weeks out from the event, rumours are rampant that The Miz will interfere in some form in this match. Although that could lead the company in multiple directions following Wrestlemania, I hardly see interference being a part of any match being considered the greatest/biggest of all time. I wish these 2 phenomenal mega-stars the best, but for the fans, I hardly feel this match has been given the proper build-up with which to live or exceed the hype of a match that has now been more than a year in the making.  I truly hope that WWE concedes to having these men, verbally duke it out on an edition of Piper’s Pit on the go home edition of RAW leading into Wrestlemania. And I personally expect both men to give the performance of a life time.
Undertaker vs. Triple H = Shawn Michaels special guest referee.
Although the build has been sufficient and the subsequent match, I expect to be phenomenal, this is the 3rd match between these 2 men, and the 6th match that involves any pairing of the 3 men involved at Wrestlemania. For 3 guys that complained early in their careers that the “old guys” refused to put them over, it is amusing to watch as they only want to work with each other at this stage of their careers.  I maintain that the Undertakers streak is much more mythical than mystical, especially considering the calibre of opponents that he has faced (Mark Henry, Jake Roberts, Jimmy Snuka, Giant Gonzales, A-Train); but for whatever legacy the streak will leave behind when the Undertaker is finally said and done, I feel his legacy would be much firmer helping to build and develop the stars that will carry the company for the next 20 years (Sheamus, CM Punk, Dolph Ziggler, Harry Smith, John Cena, Brock Lesnar and maybe even Brodus Clay eventually).  Even though a cliff-hanger from last years’ WM bout paved the way for this sequel, the sad fact is both Hunter and Taker had alternative feuds set that could have made this year’s Wrestlemania so much better than what is being presented.  However, instead of following the other possible feuds that would have involved these 2 protagonists, they hit the brakes and regressed going in a direction that seems much more self-serving, which I will refer to later in this blog. Even though I am not invested into this match, I still hold hope that this match can be commentated on by Jim Ross and Mick Foley as I believe they can provide the best insight for this match given their respective histories with both men.
Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk
Who is the best in the world? This is a feud that seems to be all over the road, appearing almost directionally impaired. At first everyone expected this feud to simply be for the belt following Jericho’s Royal Rumble victory, which never happened. Then it appeared they would simply feud over being the best in the world. Lately the feud seems to be more of a personal attack on Punk by Jericho about his personal life and history rather than a chase for the championship.  This lack of focus has begun to take me out of what easily could be the best match on this card and even one of the best matches of all time. I sincerely hope these 2 are given the time and freedom to deliver an incredible mat classic. They both deserve it as do the fans of professional wrestling.
Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus
With all due respect to both men, this match almost seems like a throwaway match, which is pathetic considering the ability of both men.  The feud between the 2 is almost non-existent, with more emphasis being placed on the character development of Daniel Bryan.  About the only thing attaching any emotion for anyone in this match is the berating treatment of AJ by Bryan, which has absolutely nothing to do with Sheamus. The running joke I keep hearing is that this match may be bumped to the preshow much like it was last year when they wrestled for the U.S. championship. The only difference being that the big guy is now the babyface, and the little guy is the heel.
Team Teddy vs. Team Johnny
Although I can hardly disapprove of a multi-personality tag or novelty match to utilize the enormous roster crossed with the limited time constraints, I hardly think Teddy Long is the man to challenge John Laurinaitis. First let me say that I have never been a fan of the character of Teddy Long and have always thought that so many numerous, meaningful and established names (Dusty Rhodes, Ric Flair, Santino Marella, cousin Roddy Piper or even my favourite brother Bret Hart) could fill that role with so much more ability, yet Teddy keeps his job year in and year out. Having said that, I can’t emotionally invest myself into this, because even if I was able to support Long as a character, the fact is that even though both men are “General Managers”, Laurinaitis still supersedes Teddy as Johnny is an executive on top of that, making him Teddy’s boss in the process.  I think for this match to be truly successful, both authority figures need to be on the same playing field.  Having said that, with talent like Kofi Kingston, R-Truth, Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, Santino Marella, Zach Ryder, Mark Henry, Christian, Alberto Del Rio, David Otunga and others continuing to evolve it is important to include such matches as these so that they can have a platform on this grand stage to display their abilities.
Randy Orton vs. Kane
This feud would appear to have been built out of nothing and seems to be going nowhere. It sort of reminds me of the lack of focus and off the wall booking of Kane vs. Kurt Angle at WM 18. No doubt that both men deserve a spot on the card at Wrestlemania and perhaps they are well-suited to work with one another, but with such little emphasis this match, seems more like a bathroom break than a feature contest.
Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes
This may be the match that I object to the most as both men had heavily-rumoured matches that would have drawn much more significantly and given the audience much more to look forward to. I see neither reason nor any logical tie that brings these 2 men into the ring with one another at Wrestlemania and may end up being one of the more ludicrously booked matches in recent Mania history. About the only thing that has made this match salvageable is the very real exploitation of Big Show’s Wrestlemania record which I believe could have been a great marketing ploy for a future Wrestlemania with a better built person to feud with such as a Kane or a Randy Orton.
Maria Menounous & Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix & Eve Torres
It really does sadden me that in era filled with such talented female performers, that the divas division is relocated to cheapened publicity stunts. I recently watched a Legends of Wrestling Roundtable where the panel condemned Snooki (even though I disagree) as one of the worst celebrity involvements in wrestling history, yet I feel that Menounous is being booked in the same vein, yet with less celebrity influence or physical acumen.  Essentially in return for her promoting Wrestlemania on her TV show Extra, the WWE promotes her upcoming appearance on Dancing with the Stars. Seems like a win/win cross-promotion for those 2 parties. Yet at the expense of the hard working WWE divas land the all essential the WWE Universe.
John Cena vs. The Rock
Yes I would keep this match, although I would have put much more focus on it for future generations to really regard it as the greatest match of all time.
CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan
This match to me seems like a natural fit especially for an event of this magnitude.  Much like Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit both worked alongside one another to build their careers from the bottom up and what better way to solidify their journey than the ultimate climax on the grandest stage of them all.  Furthermore, the potential feud of the straight edge superstar vs. the vegan dragon could be penultimate in my opinion given that they are so evenly matched physically. I also think, and have thought for many years that having multiple champions is needless and detrimental to the logical impression of the business and I think that this could have been a title unification match which would have added further drama to an even greater degree to help make this one of the greatest matches in WM history. Sadly instead, this match and potential feud was given away if not over-killed on free TV, 3 weeks in a row to help build opposing feuds for this years’ Wrestlemania.
Chris Jericho vs. Undertaker
Perhaps I may be the only one, but this I thought would be the logical feud to develop following Jericho’s hyper-kinetic return to WWE in January.  Weeks of promos depicting the end of the world, leading to the highly anticipated return of Jericho would have made much more sense had the end of the world, been Jericho’s mission of ending Undertaker’s streak, which in today’s modern WWE is promoted to be much more important than any championship.  Further to that, Jericho and Taker have never really had a heated program, and I know the given abilities of both men could have created an all-time Wrestlemania classic.
Team Johnny vs. Team Triple H
For months leading into Wrestlemania right up until the night Undertaker returned, the feud being built was between Executive VP John Laurinaitis and Executive VP Triple H over control of the company and the primary show, RAW. Odds are, following Wrestlemania, that the feud will continue.  For me nothing is left to be proved between Taker and Hunter, but a world of hurt, passion and pride could and in fact does exist in a feud between Hunter and Johnny.  The participants in a multi-person match could have loosely remained the same; the difference here is the generals leading them into battle.
Cody Rhodes vs. Goldust
This match was first rumoured as being lobbied for, back in the autumn of 2011. I personally feel this match could have driven some serious buy rates for WWE. Although the personal rivalry between 2 brothers has been done before, it has never been done with this kind of dynamic. Surely it would never match the success of Owen vs. Bret, but surely it could be more successful than the ill-fated Jeff vs. Matt Hardy feud.  Goldust is one of the most successful IC champs in history, and a chase for the IC belt would be sensible. The personal rivalry of 2 brothers who never really grew up together and had separate mothers could have gotten vastly personal with many dimensions available. Then the very real possibility that after 20 years in the business, that Dustin may be looking to retire soon and in the process wanted to pass the torch to his brother in one final contest would have been the ultimate and stipulation end to an illustrious albeit bizarre career.  Furthermore considering that Booker T & Goldust were a popular tag team in the early 2000’s in WWE and considering the late 2011 feud between Cody and Booker, the feud had natural building blocks to launch off of.  Imagine if you will, the American Dream Dusty Rhodes guest refereeing this contest between his two sons.
Big Show vs. Shaquille O’Neal
This is the kind of celebrity involvement WWE should be striving for and considering Shaq made it very public he wanted to do this, I think WWE missed the boat on a potentially huge drawing card (pardon the pun). Shaq’s involvement against someone like the Big Show could have been the equivalent of Karl Malone, Dennis Rodman, Muhammad Ali, Mike Tyson & Floyd Mayweather.  Big Show would have been the perfect candidate for this not only due to his massive size, but also due to the history built between the two men, when Shaq hosted Raw in 2009.
Natalya vs. Beth Phoenix
These 2 ladies have been teaming together as the Divas of Destruction for the better part of a year now, and in the nearly 3+ years they have been in the company together have never once had a match against one another. Recently in tag matches, heated glances could be seen between the two blonde bombshells, which seemed to be the seeds that could have grown into a blossoming feud.  However the superfluous need of a publicity stunt curtailed what could have been the greatest women’s match in WWE history.  Why someone like Maria Menounous couldn’t have simply been a guest referee or ring announcer for this match eludes me.
Tyson Kidd vs. Michael McGillicutty
Although I realize the unlikelihood of an NXT feud making the card at Wrestlemania, these 2 young studs of the business have built and developed an incredible feud on NXT, getting personal with great promos and having a few incredible matches, which I think would set the perfect tone as an opener for Wrestlemania. Here are two of the most under-utilized and underrated talents available in the world today and giving them the opportunity to showcase what they are capable of would to me, be much more important than any inevitable backstage sketches involving farcical dancing, bowel gas or Mae Young`s lusty sexual advances.
In conclusion please feel free to offer your Wrestlemania perspectives. Please feel free to send me any feedback on this. WWE may or may not care what their audience wants to see, but you know I do.

In any event, Wrestlemania brings the entire wrestling world once a year to celebrate this spectacular industry. This year I will be hosting a wonderful Wrestlemania party in Toronto that will feature the Rock’s uncle Ricky Johnson as well as former TNA/WWE diva Shelly Martinez.  More guests are being confirmed daily. I encourage all fans who will not be in Miami to view this directly to join us at the Arizona Bar & Grill, 215 Carlingview Drive in Toronto.


Posted in commentary, Ont.indy on February 22, 2012 by wtfhwrestling

If you’re an old UWA fan a backyard wrestling enthusiast or just someone with some time to kill I’ve got to take a post to put over another blog  ..

My first UWA hardcore show I attended had (then)ROH star Austin Aries in the main event so I ventured to Mississauga to check it out since that I made it a bi-monthly(sometimes monthly)mission to make as many UWA HARDCORE shows as I could.  They always delivered and had a good healthy dose of DIY magic that made it hard for any other indy company before or after to follow.  Eventually they folded and sold their equipment to another fed that was going to try and recapture that magic …SPRY.   Spry was barely given a chance by anyone but came off to me as ALPHA 1 before they existed.  So with all the warm fuzzies of one of my favorite indys of all time matched with my memories of making crappy makeshift rings,titles and weapons and beating the snot out of my friends this site surely delivers the entertainment factor for anyone who’s been there done that(byw wise) or can relate to wanting to take a backyard dream and make it global.

BTW love the flaming board gimmick they talk about.  We used to do it too but our guy came to the ring with a gascan he’d dip a home made singapore/STEEL CITY cane in it light it up then get reversed…poor son of a bitch.

WWE encyclopedia

Posted in commentary on February 22, 2012 by wtfhwrestling

Anyone have this?  I randomly picked it up at the book store the other day and couldn’t put it down.  The only other wrestling book to have that effect on me was PWI’s first almanac which I took with me EVERYWHERE.

Sure the book has its drawbacks like keeping kayfabe and its choice of cover stars(all Attitude era no Hogan,Savage,Hart,Fuji,Piper,Flair/ANYONE who actually mattered lol minus Edge and Taker who respectively earned their cover boy spots)but they make up for that by the amount of “enhancement talent” listed throughout the book.  Growing up me and my boys would collect the old LJN figures and strangely enough our favorites were THE KILLER BEEZ in our ring NO ONE lost to the Killer BEEZ they’re freaking “killers” after all lol.   Lots of times we would re-paint other figures to look like jobbers we were fans of  like IRON MIKE SHARPE or the Brooklyn Brawler we even made a LOSER title I don’t know why we thought anyone would want that title but this book is FULL of contenders for that belt.  I opened to one page randomly and found 3 people from my hometown Hamilton thats not bad either so whether you’re a fan of gimmicks that should’ve never been,silly reminders of jobbers past or just want a reminder of WWEs revisionist history this might just be the book for you.